After 2000 consecutive days I learned that every meditation session is different, and I can’t repeat the same experience.  This makes it impossible to follow a concrete plan and expect a certain result.  What you realize is that the moment you start to let go and truly understand how you feel, you begin to grow.  Let’s talk about that growth now.

“My life has been full of terrible misfortunes most of which never happened.” -Michel de Montaigne

The app

As a technology leader, I will always say an app is just a tool to enable you to move forward.  Some tools are better than others.  For meditation, I use Headspace.  The packs and structure work for me.  Use whatever works for you.

The start

I didn’t notice anything different till about 2-3 months into a daily routine.  The first few weeks were tough, because I would fall asleep as soon as I started.  This was because I finally gave my mind and body a chance to sit with no expectations to do anything.  How did I react? Clearly, I wasn’t getting enough sleep and my body would want to rest.  That was my first wake-up call, I am not resting enough.

The first meditation pack I did was focused on sleep.  I needed to reframe sleep and understand the processes behind it.  What I learned is that sleep starts way before you are actually ready for bed.  I would eat dinners way too late which would make it hard to sleep on time. When I adjusted my eating habits, I was able to sleep earlier, which made a big difference. I didn’t even notice how food affected my life.

Using my phone before bed (getting better but not perfect), watching TV, and video games would get me energized and thinking.  It would take me 1-2 hours to actually start to shut down, which meant I was sleeping later.  When you go down that road, you don’t realize how it affects you.  I would toss and turn and just couldn’t sleep.  What happens next? Well sometimes I would get hungry and here we go again.

Once I got my sleep and eating routine better, I started to actually feel healthier.  I never understood the true benefits of sleep, till I started sleeping better.  Did I think meditation would make my sleep better? Never.

Cooking and eating

After my awareness got higher, I started to notice the foods I was eating. I started to wonder why am I eating certain foods? I went deeper and I started to analyze how we would make meals.  When you show even a bit of awareness, you will start to feel a certain way about the foods you eat.  Some of you might feel great because you are already healthy but a lot of you might be like me, who felt some guilt.  Why am I doing this to myself?

I did a meditation pack on cooking and eating, which forced me to change my ways.  The session didn’t tell me to do anything but just be aware of what I am doing.  One guilty pleasure I had to let go of was my obsession with drinking Coke.  I f***ing loved Coca-Cola.  The reason why I loved it had nothing to do with being thirsty; it actually felt good more than anything.  It’s like drinking a cold beer after work or on a warm day, it just feels good.  There was no benefit to it, in fact, Coke isn’t healthy at all.  I now only drink it once a month, if that.  All of us have different issues with cooking and eating.  Raising your self-awareness will actually help you understand why you feel a certain way about food.  Am I perfectly healthy? I wish, but better than yesterday.

Time Management, Productivity and Flow

Staying focused was pretty hard for me growing up and is a struggle for a lot of us.  I knew right after getting a good night's sleep and being aware during the day, I wasn’t getting enough work done.  I never lacked a work ethic, but clearly wasn’t efficient with my time. 

I started with time management first.  I wrote an article on time management, which covers how I managed to get in the right direction. 

Productivity and flow were next, I really needed to get into a rhythm when I started work and make sure I completed what I started.  Doing a meditation exercise over and over again is difficult and requires discipline.  That disciple bled into other parts of my life.  Flow is a whole other topic which I will write about later.  I found my flow when I got rid of the mental barriers I had.  I never looked back. 

Leadership.

Leadership is where I made a lot of progress, more than I expected.  I was a team lead when I started meditating and now, I am a senior leader in local government.  I give meditation the majority of the credit for this growth. 

The biggest part of this growth was controlling my emotions and not reacting to every single moment.  Not everything deserves a reaction, and when you can start to control it, you start to see things differently.  When you aren’t reacting and constantly looking over your shoulder, you are more in the moment.

Mindful meditation is the process of viewing and observing your thoughts but letting go.  That requires you not to jump into each thought.  Listening is no different.  I started to hear and see things I never noticed before.  Leaders can make a big difference if they truly understand the problem.  The clarity accelerated my growth.

Knowledge

This journey of leadership also had a few other key moments.  I did a leadership program in Saskatoon called, wait for it, Leadership Saskatoon.  This program taught me the true meaning of leadership and forced me to look inside even further. It is good to have people who have gone down this journey already to provide guidance. No one knows everything when they start.

Books

I hated reading growing up.  I don’t know why but about a year into my meditation journey I picked up a book.  The first book I read, that I truly understood was The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor.  That’s because I was able to create space in my mind for knowledge.  That space I created allowed me to intake knowledge and not put my own judgement on what I was learning.  I started to challenge my own beliefs after reading and things changed.  Letting go of some core beliefs was difficult but what we learned up to this point isn’t always right. Just the ability to let go was important.

Mindfulness touchpoint at work

Every month I lead a mindfulness meeting at work.  There are about 10 people that show up regularly and a few others that come and go.  In these meetings, we go around and talk about self-awareness and what we are noticing about ourselves.  During COVID and with most people being at home, I wanted a space for people to talk about their emotions.  These meetings have become pretty powerful.  I have seen a change in my team that I never expected.  People growing and understanding themselves more.  Our organization also got everyone in the group a corporate license of Headspace, which helped with the process.  This is an alternative way to engage with your team.

My family.

This is probably where I saw the most benefit from meditation.  The relationship with my wife got better.  If you have a good relationship with anyone, there will always be ups and downs.  The key is not to let your mind make up a story of what your partner might be thinking of or trying to assume how they feel.  Raising your self-awareness will help control those stories, assumptions and emotions.  You can’t always lead with your emotions, especially in your personal relationships.

I wrote an article on mindful relationships, which you can find here.

For the first couple of years of my son’s life, all I did was work.  I wasn’t really in the moment with him when I should have been.  I regret not being aware enough to notice the smallest of moments.  When my daughter was born, I was in the middle of my journey, which brought a whole different experience.  I can clearly remember every moment from birth with her.  My relationship and connection with my kids are deep.  My son, who is almost 9 now, meditates every night before bed.  At first, he just wanted to do things I was doing, but now he does it because it makes him feel better.

I also read a book called “Don’t let go of your kids”.  Great book on creating a connection with your children.  It means even more if you are aware are enough to notice key moments.

Everyone else

Once you start to focus on yourself and your core values, you will notice that some people don’t align with your values.  The worst thing you can do is engage and try to change people.  Don’t force your journey onto people.  Everyone else needs to walk their own path and figure things out.  It’s okay to talk about meditation and share your journey, but don’t expect everyone else to do it. You also cannot control how other people feel, just worry about your own energy.

Final Thought.

The majority of thoughts we have are as fragile as a thin layer of glass.  They don’t hold any weight behind them.  If you engage in every thought and go down those storylines, nothing great happens.  Letting go brings clarity, which gives you a new perspective on life. My life has completely changed and I am excited for the next 2000 days.

Good luck!

Blog Update

I will be writing articles every 4 weeks now.  Work has picked up and the weather has improved.  I have been invited to a couple of podcasts and asked to write articles with other publications. I will share those out over time. Thank you all for reading!